You probably know Cam. He?s one of the guys on Modern Family, a show that recently earned a second Emmy for best comedy. I find the series laugh-out-loud funny. But apparently my brain thinks the characters and I have a friendship. That may be a not-so-good problem of these technologically rich times.
Television with images and sound that approximate reality, interactive computer games, movies, and talking phones that answer questions and make jokes may be fooling our brains into thinking we have social relationships when that isn?t the case. How many of us talk back to the screen, telling the characters to not do something or asking them how they could even consider dating so and so? How many of us have lost our temper with Siri? In restaurants, when sitting with others, it?s not unusual to see groups of people at the same table, all looking at their phones.
Social Surrogacy Hypothesis
David DiSalvo, in his book What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite,??discusses our relationships with fictional characters and famous personalities. He describes social surrogacy hypothesis: humans can use technologies, like television, to feel a sense of belonging. The defnition of surrogate is one that takes the place of another, a substitute. Is that what soap opera lovers are doing when they isolate but can?t wait for their shows? ?What about online roleplay games that create imaginary worlds and characters with imaginary powers?
A research team at the University of Buffalo tested this hypothesis. They measured emotional reactions, belongingness, loneliness, rejection, and exclusion in response to descriptions of peoples? favorite television programs. In one experiment undergraduate students wrote a ten-minute essay about their favorite shows, about programs they watch when nothing else is on, and then about an achievement they experienced in school.
After writing about their favorite shows, the students verbally expressed fewer feelings of loneliness and exclusion than when describing the filler television shows or the experience of academic achievement. Another experiment showed?that that thinking about a favorite show buffered against drops in self-esteem and feelings of rejection that accompany the end of a relationship. Apparently, if you are broken-hearted, your television may be a good healer. This and other results suggests that ?relationships? with characters on television programs can fill emotional needs of belonging and friendship: ?a psychological concept called ?technology induced belongingness.?
Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to show activity in the participants? brains, researchers showed situations involving three different groups: ?family and friends, famous people, and fictional characters. The results showed that information about real people ?is coded in the brain in such a way that it elicits a ?me? response, a self-referential response, different from fictional characters. So how do television characters and cellphones become our ?friends??
There?s much more research to be done to more completely understand. For people who spend more time watching television or a computer screen than with physical people in their lives, then relevance may be different than for those who don?t. ?The characters on television may have the most relevance and be the source they look to for emotional fulfillment.
The more people rely on these media characters and personalities for a sense of ?connectedness,? the more their brains encode them as ?relevant.? ?This may help people feel less isolated, even when they rarely interact with another person. ?Humans will naturally seek to get their needs met, however they can with the least amount of pain, and if that doesn?t happen with real people, then connections through technology may be the next choice.
Pros and Cons?
Many emotionally sensitive people have withdrawn from socializing and may not see their family members. Relationships are too painful for some. ?It makes sense that they may turn to television or computers to meet the need for connection. For some emotionally sensitive people their need for social contact is greater than others. They may be more vulnerable to turning to the media to gain a sense of belonging.
If this allieviates the pain of loneliness, then that could be positive in the short run. But the problem may be that relationships through technology may take away motivation to find relationships with physical people. In a time of deep need, there may be no one to turn to. ?And those relationships are not reciprocal.
Other possible problems include an increasing isolationist society where there is little sense of community. Or perhaps the characters and ?personalities, the ?peers? ?that people choose to ?bond? with influence them in negative ways. But those are bigger discussions. My concern is how this ?trick? of the brain affects each individual, particularly those who are emotionally sensitive and more likely to need a safe way to belong.
Awareness and Action
Awareness is the first step. If you are an emotionally sensitive person (or not), then take a look at your sense of belongingness. Is it coming through technology? ?Look at the pros and cons. You don?t have to give up technology but consider the value to you of taking a chance on relationships with people who are physically present in your life. A well-run support group might be a good start. Volunteering or a place of worship/spirituality might be other choices. Taking a class could be an options. ?Check out the alternatives and make a careful decision.
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References
Disalvo, D. (2011).?What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should Do the Opposite. New York:?Prometheus Books.
Note to readers: Please consider taking our?survey?to help us learn more about emotionally sensitive people. Your responses are anonymous and we?ll discuss the results in upcoming posts.Thanks to all who have already taken it. We?re getting closer to our target number!
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Karyn Hall, Ph.D. is the owner/director of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy Center in Houston, Texas and a trainer/consultant with Treatment Implementation Collaborative (Ticllc.org).Like this author?
Catch up on other posts by Karyn Hall, PhD (or subscribe to their feed).
????Last reviewed: 4 Mar 2012
APA Reference
Hall, K. (2012). My Friend Cam Or How Technology Fools The Brain. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 5, 2012, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/emotionally-sensitive/2012/03/my-friend-cam-or-how-technology-fools-the-brain/
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